With Hale-Bopp taking the Heaven's Gate folks for 'a ride' and other comets waiting in the astral wings (it seems the sky is littered with them these days), we at The Bone Conduction Music Show pass on as a public service the benefit of research conducted by Kenn and Mr. Vacation, two of The Official Bartenders of The Bone Conduction Music Show. This research was conducted under laboratory conditions. Attempts to duplicate study results may vary depending on temperature and density. We at The Bone Conduction Music Show accept no responsibility for anything at all, especially Kenn and Mr. Vacation.

To View The Comet Safely

NEVER look directly at the comet. Dangerous alien rays emanating from comet can cause permanent brain damage.

ALWAYS observe comet in the reflection of a beer or by using The Official Mr. Vacation Box-On-Head Unit (see illustration below).

If observing while operating a motor vehicle, ALWAYS have a passenger handy to steer so driver can hold the beer in the correct reflective position. Passenger may also assist with proper alignment of The Official Mr. Vacation Box-On-Head Unit to maximize comet viewing.

ALWAYS Duct Tape several beer cans (we recommend at least five cans) to the outside of your head to absorb dangerous alien rays emanating from comet. This is ESSENTIAL when not using the protective Mr. Vacation Box-On-Head Unit.

If out of beer and without The Official Mr. Vacation Box-On-Head Unit, use the handy parabolic reflector found on the bottom of every Labatt's beer can and hope for the best.

Good luck and happy viewing, comet lovers.

High Tech Illustration courtesy of Mr. Vacation:


The REAL Mr. Vacation, a very cool dude purveying a very cool product. Any similarty or resemblence to my pal, Mr. Vacation of Plymouth, Michigan, the Mr. Vacation that houses and feeds Mickey The Dangerous Flesh Eating Parrot, the Mr. Vacation that has been known to cross police lines for a beer, the Mr. Vacation that will be portrayed in my upcoming movie, 'Temple Of Lingerie' (starring hopefully Ellen Barkin, Cindy Crawford, Joan Collins, Natalie Cole, that hot hispanic chick from Bay Watch, and me Thayrone X) by the ghost of Michael J. Pollard, the Mr. Vacation I have seen carried out of The Lower Town on several occasions, is purely coincidence. We are not responsible. Have you seen my beer? I thought I left it on the tv set...? Nurse, is it time for my sponge bath?

Remember, we care, and we can help!

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